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You shoving your partner in order to get away from them does not constitute abuse.

They may physically block the doorway, and in your attempt to rightfully leave you shove your partner out of the way.

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One way to recognize the difference between an abuser and the person they’re hurting is the willingness to seek change.

Admitting to unhealthy or abusive behavior, committing to stopping, reaching out for help and asking about the process of change are things that abusive people rarely do.

Enduring abuse over time can lead to broken down self-esteem, feelings of low self-worth and intense emotional stress or even PTSD.

While it’s never healthy to yell back at a partner or be violent with them, if you are experiencing abuse you might have used one of these strategies when you felt your safety was at risk or you were trying to re-establish your independence in the relationship.

The excuse of “mutual abuse” also allows the abusive partner to shift blame.